Tuesday, December 1, 2015

40 Thoughts You Have While Running a Half Marathon

In honour of having run 5 half marathons in 2015 (which basically makes me a professional runner already) and already having registered for another one in 2016, I thought I would share some of our darkest, deepest secrets.... The thoughts we runners have as we run a half marathon.

  1. Okay... it's a little cold now. Let's go! Only 47 seconds until we're supposed to start.
  2. 2 minutes till we were supposed to start.... I'm cold, let's go!
  3. It's go time! Gotta run slow. Very... very slow.
  4. MOVE PEOPLE LET'S GO THIS ISN'T A TURTLE RACE!
  5. Alright, I feel good. Only 13 miles to go. That's not that much.
  6. Oh look at that hottie over there. Maybe I'll go run closer and say hi.
  7. One mile already? Damn I'm good. This'll be easy.
  8. That means I only have to run 2 10k's. Yeah, I should be fine. 10k runs are a breeze.
  9. Walk break time... Do I really wanna walk though? Maybe I should. Keep my energy.
  10. Ugh all these people are passing me. I hate walking.
  11. Look at all these people wearing tutus! Next time, I'll wear something funny.
  12. Wow, 5 miles already! This is easy. Why don't I do this every day?!
  13. Water station already? I'm not even thirsty yet! Where's the Gatorade?
  14. Oh hello there, good looking, how YOU doin'?! Don't mind me.. I'll just run behind you for a while.... 
  15. Half-way point! See? I don't even know why I was nervous to begin with. I'm almost done!
  16. No.... no I'm not almost done.
  17. WHERE IS THE NEXT MILE MARKER??? It's been at least 10 minutes!
  18. Oh, it's only been 3 minutes. Okay.
  19. There it is! Only 4 miles left.
  20. Thank god, because I need to poop and there's no way I'm stopping now.
  21. HAH! These guys are giving out beer. Who the hell drinks beer while they run?
  22. Oh hottie over there drinks beer. Well then.
  23. These miles are getting really long... Did they really measure these properly?
  24. What kind of pizza should I get after? Hawaiian?
  25. How the hell is this old man running faster than me?!?! He's like a million years old!
  26. Why did I think I could do this?!?!?!
  27. I'm tired. So, so tired. Can I just stop now?
  28. BABY I'M A FIIIIIIREWOOOOOORK. Man am I good at making playlists!
  29. ONE MORE MILE TO GO!
  30. Seriously. One more mile. That's nothing, I've already done 12. I can do this.
  31. This is seriously the longest mile on Earth.
  32. 13 mile-marker! Aaaaaand I'm still not done.
  33. I SEE IT! GO GO GO!
  34. Oh, my God. I'm flying! How are my legs moving so fast!
  35. I AM DONE! I FINISHED! FINITO! I'm amazing. Seriously, the best.
  36. Time to get my bliiiiiing yo!
  37. I'm not even tired anymore... 
  38. I could probably run another one today!
  39. Nah, probably not.
  40. I should register for the one next month....
Maybe I'll wait a while before the next one.... Running makes me tired.
I mean, these are only some of our thoughts.... We are a lot more profound than that, of course. I'm sure some runners ponder the meaning of life, barely noticing the miles going by, but I can't tell you all our secrets!

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